My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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