it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
