isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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