i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
