Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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