There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
