Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
