The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
birth control should be required to get into college
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Your cock deserves a montage
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
