dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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