I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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