Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
