my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
