I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
