Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
