your thong is hanging out like whoa
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
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Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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