google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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