Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
