He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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