I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
