weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
