Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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