Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
