You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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