you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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