remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
