ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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