this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
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