How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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