its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
