the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize