Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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