The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
