I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
