Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
