If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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