I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
