You just made me feel so damn special
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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