What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
