I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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