ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize