Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
