My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
