Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
