you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
