worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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