DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
