You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
