i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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