hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
