I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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