so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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