The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I need a beard to bite.
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