it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
