I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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