i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
