I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
