Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
