I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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