It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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