"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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