She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize