Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
