***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
