Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize